What to not do when you offering services for a living

on my way to where i parked my bike tonight , i saw long line in station parking exit. i took time to check my phone and hoped the line died down a little before i went out. the line got longer instead.

"there must be something wrong with the tap machine at the gate" i thought. it is usual in pocin station after all

turned out the network was down so the tap machine couldnt work. we have to pay in cash instead.

disappointed bcs it happened all too often, kinda pissed for wasting 20 minute in line, and desire to do something mischievous. i decided to goad the staff a bit.

i told them i dont have cash since i always use my emoney.

"you have to paid in cash tonigjt sir. the network is broken", the staff replied. no humility. no apology.

"how if i dont have any? can i withdraw some cash in atm nearby?" nope. i have the money in my pocket.

"but you have to pay in cash" . it started to look like not only the machine that broken since he just repeating stuffs.

for purely my amusement i goaded him further " i dont have any. can i pay tomorrow? it wasnt my fault the machine broke."

he snapped, angrily " it wasnt my fault neither"

and thats how it went. i paid twice amount needed and left without the change.

thing is,  when you work in service, you dont get angry at your consumers. let alone shifting the blame. i know he received a lot of complain that night.  and he is equally frustrated that the machine broke time and time again even if it wasnt his fault. but i, likewise all other people, consider him reska staff. and it is reska's fault that we cant use tap machine. regardless whose responsibility it is.

i dont know the it guy. it would waste my time to get to meet his shift manager. reska's waste my time.  he is a reska's staff. i asked his responsibility. and the inability to give proper response doesnt count only for him. but inform me how unsatisfactory reska's services are.

note to self is, mind yourself. especially at work. because it is not only your brand that you represent. basically we all offering our services to company, to our bosses, to coworkers from other department. at times we have to clean other person shit and apologize for things that isnt our fault. but focus on things you can control and let go things that you cant.

Whatever. Cheers people.

A day in our life

I am feeling old. Not old like old. But old as in “my favourite kind of day off is to sleep all day” old. Or “ the social interaction in hanging out or weddings is exhausting” old. Yes, the kind of “ i am out of touch with what is trending ” old.

Entah sejak kapan. Saya baru tiga tahun lulus dari kuliah. Belum sampai 3 lebaran lalu saya masih pakai jeans belel, kaos dekil, dan rambut gondrong karena keramas seminggu sekali. Dan sekarang saya merasa kok saya tua banget ya.

Apalagi sebulan terakhir, 2 minggu sebelum lebaran terutama. It was the most stressed out i had been in my young adult life. It is borderline unhealthy. And i apologize to friends and coworkers who bear the effect if any of you read this.

Between impossible work load, self expectation of spare time, difference regarding professional direction of my workplace that i cant change,the feeling that i am too young and too soon to be involved at all of that, and my inability to grow beard (seriously, i think having a beard is cool but no matter what i try i cant never grow a beard without looking like a goat) i just want to shrugs the responsiblity if allowed.

So the holiday cant come soon enough. I might not do anything this holiday other than take care of myself better. But this time off is putting things into perspective.
Bahwa dari semua kesulitan dan kepanikan itu, setelah dibawa tidur dan dipikirkan dengan lebih tenang, adalah semacam reality check di kehidupan dewasa saya yang baru tiga tahun ini. Meskipun sebelumnya saya sempat berpikir bodoh untuk lari dari tanggung jawab dan berpikir untuk kuliah lagi hanya untuk menunda jadi dewasa. Meskipun saya sempat merasakan kalau terlalu terikat dengan kecemasan di masa yang akan datang itu tidak sepadan dengan mengorbankan kebahagiaan di masa sekarang.

Yang waktu itu saya harapkan adalah, di usia saya yang mungkin baru sepertiga masa hidup, (usia harapan hidup Indonesia kata BPS terakhir itu 69 tahun) saya sudah menemukan apa yang akan saya lakukan di sisa umur saya. Tapi ternyata Enggak. Sama sekali belum. Sejauh ini cita-cita saya Cuma satu , dan itupun sama sekali ga kongkrit : to provide for my wife and kids so they can have a good life. Saya ga punya tuh apa yang namanya career vision. It doesnt take a genius to see that from my education background and career of choice that i wasnt planning my life meticulously.

And i convince myself, i am entitled to be confused and worried.

But this time off, i spent a lot of time talking with my parent  who know much about being young and confused and still manage to get by.  I also caught up with my friends which have different fate but same confusion.

What i understand is , one third of man’s life is actually a short amount of time. Imagine our whole lifespan as one day. The day start at 12AM while we sleeping. And we dont do much until we wake up at 5am, or 6am for you lazy sleepyhead. Thats like a quarter of your day goes by without you doing anything. Just like our childhood when we are not capable of doing things.

Then we wake up, we make our bed. We prepare for the day. Take a bath , have breakfast, plan your day out on to do list. We do that until 6.30 am or 7.am. Convert it to our life span. 7/24 multiply by 69 years old. Thats 20 Years Old. Usia dimana kita lulus kuliah.

And we step out of comfort our home to make our way to work. Anxious about how the day would turn out. Just like me now. But we wont work until it is 8am. It is at 8AM that we actually start our day. Dan ternyata, setelah saya hitung, Jam 8 itu adalah... setara dengan usia 23 tahun. Usia saya sekarang. Oke bohong, itu usia saya tahun lalu. Tapi ya kadang jam 8 juga kita ga langsung kerja kan. Ada sih karyawan teladan yang langsung sibuk. Tapi bukan beberapa dari kita juga beli sarapan dulu, dandan dulu, atau bikin kopi dulu. Ujung-ujungnya baru mulai juga 8.30 kan.

And we work until afternoon, lets say until 6 pm. Dan di situ umur kita adalah 52 Tahun. Saat dimana beberapa orang sudah pulang, meski ada juga yang masih lembur.  Before we ride into sunset of old age and retirement.

Point is, what am i worrying about? I am just 8 am into life. The day has barely just begun. I still have the whole day long before i go home and enjoy the night.

This whole things of worrying about future, hopefully is just process. And i would like to think that with the whole day ahead of me, i still have bigger margin of error to mess something up.  And in midday, 12AM, that is 34 years old in our life clock i might re evaluate what i have done this morning and wonder why am i worried in the first place and start to look forward to go home again.

I really dont know how, but i am sure i will sort things out. Just not now. Now, i am just finished my coffee and just only starting to do my work.


Note : i am sorry for this writings is allover the place and kinda butchered the language with bilingual here and there. But currently it is 12am and tomorrow is first day of work so kinda acceptable to not be able to edit it out.
Also i want rhis one to be as raw as possible so i just leave it without editing

Let's stop with being right.

Sometimes, you just know that your opinion is completely in line with the facts. Sometimes, all evidence point out to your beliefs. Sometimes, the people you talking with are talking nonsense. Sometimes, they even willingly take stupidness mantle and wear it, proudly.

Naturally, we argue. We raise our voice, we go to overdrive to deliver our points. They retort and push you back. And you go even further. 

It feels good to be right. Even the most timid and shy of man get some degree happiness from being right about his opinion, value, or beliefs. It is almost addicting to win an argument , isnt it?

But what cost do we pay to feel good really?

Truth, while should be universal can be intepreted differently.  There isnt any fallacy in that truth. The fallacy is in us. We are too young, too limited to understand the whole concept of truth. We just know what we beliefs. And who to say that all of us were not right?

I remember few years back, the internet went mental with the black-blue dress / white-gold dress photo. You know, the photo of dress that the colour is different for whoever see it. For the first few days it is unacceptable for us to have people that have different saying about the colour of the dress. It wasnt make sense for me too , initially. The colour of the dres should be simple fact that cause no dissent in opinion. But science explain, that our limitation in intepreting visual fact and point of view are valid reason we have different opinion.

the said dress

If such simple picture can deceive us, then what are more complex things capable of? We dont argue about the dress that much and accept that while we have difference, we all are right. So why does it matter so much for us to argue about our beliefs? I mean, if we believe in God , omniscience and omnipresence, sit in his arasy, his throne somewhere, does it matter that much where He is sitting at?

Just like the dress, it is not that God mislead us intentionally by giving each one of us different beliefs. It is just us, who too limited to understand after all.

Then again, just like i convinced my friend that i see white-gold dress. I want them to accept that as fact too. But if they wont, i know their beliefs is not wrong either. Because my beliefs tell me that being mean, even it is about my truth, my fact, my value, and my beliefs are not allowed.

I was told to be nice. I was told to treat other with kindness whatever they beliefs are. I was told to speak good or speak nothing. I was told to love, not to hurt others. And doing contrary, that by fighting about same piece of truth would only let my beliefs and my God down.

Because in the end, the truth is not going anywhere. Beliefs are personal. No matter how many people accept, it will always be the truth. No matter how many people see the dress the same colour as me, it will always be white gold to me. But being right is not as important anymore. And then the timid and shy self of me stop caring about winning argument.