Melanggar peraturan yang salah adalah menegakan peraturan. Atau semacamnya lah.

Sekarang, saya bekerja di kantor yang ada di Daerah Thamrin. Setiap hari berpergian dengan menggunakan kereta. Sebenarnya masih terjangkau kalau mau menggunakan motor. Tapi karena malas bermacet-macet setiap hari saya naik motor hanya sampai Stasiun Pondok Cina, dan lanjut naik kereta. Hampir setiap hari juga saat berangkat saya mampir ke pemukiman yang tidak jauh dari Pondok Cina. Ngapain? Ehm .

Pintu masuk menuju pemukiman tersebut melewati kampus saya. Atau mungkin sekarang jadi mantan kampus. Eh engga, saya mantan mahasiswa di kampus itu tapi kampus itu ga jadi mantan kampus saya. Atau iya ya? Itu saya juga kurang paham aturan perbahasaannya.

Tapi intinya adalah di gerbang masuk ke pemukiman itu , yang biasanya bebas dilalui kendaraan, akan ditetapkan aturan baru yang membuat gerbangnya jadi satu arah. Peraturannya kira kira begini “ Mulai tanggal sekian gerbang ini khusus dilalui sebagai gerbang keluar. Untuk gerbang masuk bisa menggunakan gerbang yang ada di sana “ merujuk pada tempat lain yang jaraknya 500 meter dari gerbang keluar. Peraturannya resmi. Ada cap kampusnya juga. Sebagai orang yang tersistematis, yang selalu bangun di jam sama , berangkat di jam yang sama, dan naik kereta di jam yang selalu sama agar sampai di kantor selalu tepat, tepat jam masuk, tentunya perubahan waktu yang diakibatkan rute yang geser ini akan berakibat panjang. 500 meter di jalan kecil itu setara dengan 5 menit yang artinya saya harus ketinggalan kereta dan telat. Setiap hari. Ya tinggal bangun lebih pagi sih tapi itu ga tinggal.Ga tinggal mas..

Tapi gapapa , supaya kampus lebih tertib dan terhindar dari cabe-cabean yang menyerang ini perubahan ke arah yang lebih baik kok. Jadi kalaupun saya harus muter tiap pagi melalui rute yang lebih panjang, atas nama kebaikan dan kesejahteraan umum saya ikhlas.

Tapi yasudah, beberapa hari sebelum peraturan itu efektf saya mencoba menghitung berapa lama pergeseran waktu yang dibutuhkan dengan rute baru tersebut. Saya masuk lewat gerbang masuk dan keluar lewat gerbang keluar. Sesuai peraturan baru. Semacam simulasi untuk ngukur waktu dan berapa menit saya harus bangun lebih awal. Wah lumayan juga, bisa 7-10 menit.Tapi tak apa, demi kebaikan dan kesejahteraan umum.

Eh tetapi pada hari pertama efektif peraturan tersebut karena saya bangun kesiangan, saya jadi ga mampir ke pemukiman-dekat-kampus itu deh, Ehm. Jadi langsung menuju stasiun. Sebagai gantinya saya mampirnya saat pulang kerja. Masuknya lewat gerbang yang harusnya adalah gerbang keluar, karena gerbang masuknya itu lebih jauh dari stasiun dan tempat yang mau saya mampirin juga lebih dekat dari gerbang keluar. Gapapa juga. Banyak yang lewat juga.  Mungkin karena sudah malam jadi longgar peraturannya. Hari pertama juga mungkin masih masa percobaan.

Tapi besoknya, pagi saat saya mampir, dan mau masuk lewat pintu keluar, ada petugas yang jaga di pintu. Walah kalau harus muter bisa makan waktu lama. Pasti bakal telat. Tapi toh banyak orang yang lewat juga. Yang masuk lewat pintu keluar. Dan didiamkan aja sama petugas yang berjaga. Yasudah saya lewat aja deh, toh kalau melanggar pasti dilarang. Eh ternyata enggak. Petugasnya malah menjaga motor-motor yang mau keluar untuk disuruh lewat pintu yang lain. Loh ini kok gimana? Kebalik. Pintu keluar ga boleh dipake keluar dan malah dipake masuk?

Dan akhirnya, saya baru menyadari ada kesalahan pada logika berpikir saya. Eh, dibilang salah juga enggak sih ya.

Jadi Peraturan “ Gerbang ini hanya dilalui sebagai gerbang keluar “ itu. Ditulis oleh Pihak Kampus . Ya jelas saja  artinya sudut pandang yang digunakan adalah sudut pandang orang kampus. Keluar pada peraturan itu tentunya aja keluar dari kampus. Atau menuju pemukiman. Pintu masuk pun adalah pintu masuk ke kampus, dari lingkungan luar yaitu lingkungan pemukiman. Karena bagi pihak kampus, tujuannya adalah kampus. Kampus adalah bagian dalamnya.

Yang tidak saya sadari adalah saya membaca peraturan tersebut sebagai orang yang bertujuan ke pemukiman. Bagi saya proses saya berpindah dari kampus ke pemukiman adalah proses masuk, karena tepmat yang saya tuju adalah pemukiman. Pemukiman adalah bagian dalamnya.

Untung saya salah ketika sedang melanggar peraturan, minus ketemu minus kan jadinya positif. Yang saya langgar adalah peraturan yang salah jadinya saya benar. Saya keluar lewat pintu keluar yang saya anggap pintu masuk. Padahal sebenarnya mah emang pintu keluar.

Coba kalau saya lagi nurut masuk lewat pintu masuk versi saya yang menuju pemukiman, atau pintu keluar versi UI . Dicegat petugas dimarahi karena melanggar peraturan. Pastinya saya akan berdebat dengan galak kalau saya nurut pada peraturan. Dan saya pastinya akan menolak setengah mati untuk dikatakan salah. Betapa malunya saya kalau sampai itu terjadi. Niat saya baik untuk masuk sesuai peraturan , niat petugas juga baik menegakkan peraturan, tapi malah beranteem

Betapa kacamata yang kita pakai dan sepatu yang kita kenakan mempengaruhi intepretasi kita terhadap sesuatu. Hem, mungkin ini kenapa dua argumen yang bertolakbelakang bisa diperdebatkan begitu sengit dengan kedua pihak yang ga pernah akan ingin mengalahh dan tanpa akan pernah mendapat kesepakatan ( I am thinking about penentuan 1 ramadhan for example, but you may have various different idea that related to your troubles). Karena mereka melihat dari tempat yang berbeda. Wow, i am so deep man.

Baiklah, selanjutnya ketika ada perbedaan pendapat terjadi, saya akan pastikan dulu kalau saya melihat dari kacamata yang sama. Betapa ngerinya  kalau ada dua pihak yang sebenarnya baik tapi saling konflik, bahkan berdebat bertukar bantahan dengan sengit hanya karena perbedaan sudut pandang yang bodoh.

Semoga.

KN

031215

0604

writer's note:

This is my first writing in a while. In a very long while even. While writing is always be my escape route and my safe place, i am barely able to make time for it. I am a full-time worker now, with heavy workload and sadly tight workhour, not to mention at least 3,5 hours travel back and forth between my home and office. 

Writing is my way of shaping up the alternative reality, my simulation of what ifs,  my intepretation of what may happen if i behave certain way which i dont do in real life. And my thought processor to come terms with what happen in reality. Hence the name of Imaginarium

In the unknown terrority, of adulthood it is imagination that we needed the most. But it is the one that most of us lacked. And with the time that i blessed with, maybe my imaginarium cannot work in full cylinder. Maybe i cant talk about football anymore. Write whiny long love letter. Or an uncohesive poet on life.

The writing that i am capable of now maybe will sounds more bitter, more in touch with reality. Maybe this place isnt suitable to be called imaginarium anymore.    

Five stages of Dad-Kid Relationship

I am no expert at human behavior, nor have any hint of psychology. So this may come a bit off. But i just feel i have to lay it out. Most of us blessed with parents, who watched us over, and took us by the hand. So much blessed that we took them for granted at times. While i had troubled time with my Dad, as if pretty much everybody else, i come to terms that there can't be anyone better to fit the role as my Dad. But it took me a great deal of time to realize that fact. And i am lucky to be given that much time to figure it out. So this is how our journey written out:

1. The Invincible Heroes

As a kid, there is no presence more commanding than our dads. This is the simpler time when our dad can solve all of our trouble. Answer to our childish questions. and get whatever we wanted. When asked in our class of " Who is your hero?" we firmly and faithfully answered "Dad is our hero!". Because we dont find any reason why not to. A man that can do anything deserve the title of hero.

2. The Inclining Doubt

As we grow older, and the problem your faced were no longer a difficult homework or a bully in  playground we become more detached of life-long affection to our dads. Their advice become more and more irrelevant and seems out of touch with reality we are facing.  More often than not, we find others form of consolation that seems more understanding to all of our trouble. We spent less and less time home and more on anything that give us sense of unity and belongings more than our old-fashioned dads.

3. The Breakdown

The more frustating times where our question couldnt be answered anymore, our problem couldnt be solved, and our worries was not dealt with greater urgency than what we wanted. This was when we realized that after all, our Dads were no hero. They were someone that also confused, angry, clueless, and tire. This was the part when what our childhood perception of a safe hands to fall on to torn apart. Their advice was not applicable to our problem. Their do and donts was not making any sense. We broke out. We rebelled. 

4. The Turning Point

And those decision we made ourselves, wasnt working either. Instead of dissapear our trouble multiplied. Our worries unanswered. Our choice breed another dilemma. And the worst of it, we didnt have any safe place to turn into anymore, as we decided to burn the bridge time ago. And we begun to wonder the "what if"s. What if we listened? As far as less educated nor conservative-minded as we thought our dad were, they could mean no harm. He experienced life thrice, or twice times longer than what we had. It wasnt possible if all of their advice was wrong. It wasnt possible that our hero, wanted us to be worse. And regret, sometimes is not an ugly emotion to be felt. We just want to be home and not anyplace else.

5. The Enlightened Conscience

And yet, after all that we've done, the rejection we shown, our dad didnt show any hesitation to take us back. And that was when we realized how we took them for granted for years. And we see them with the new light. Heroes arent those who dont bleed. Heroes arent those who have greater mind to answer of all question. Dads, for years were putting brave faces for the trouble he might not solved. Acting calm for the problems that he didnt fully comprehend. Summoning great strength to hold all the anger to deal with our arrogance and obedience. And to put up with those kind of things with all limitation they might have, is a feat that only can be done by a Hero. And we just appreciate them more.

It doesnt mean to be condescending. I just felt that many of us confused and as the one that used to be confused i just want to lay it on the table. That is not the stages that everyone experienced as it is different on how people matured. Some learn it straight away, some learn it the hard way. And i feel blessed because of how those stages are done very early for me, as there are others who didnt feel the same way. Unti it is too little too late.

With a new light

Where have it been?

Ya it has been a while i know. Not that i lost my passion for writing or such kind of stuffs. But i don't know, i had to take care of many things. I did a lot of overtime work. And when i had few hour to spare, something else happened. Dota happened.

I indulged myself in work more than i should, i think. Sooo that is that. Days Happened. Months even. Two months since my last post. A lot of things happened during those time. What are those things? I can't remember it well. It just happened. That's why i realize to take things easier. That's why i realize i have to write about my days. So now, no work after 8 pm unless it is urgent matter.

Because you know, two months are a lot of months to be not remembered.

As for mandatorial things to write about:

Work fine. Social life fine. Family fine. All working on autopilot. For the better or worse.

operation : overload

Sometimes you can only kicking your feet and scratching your head for things that out of control. For now, Eagerness just can't beat time. All the talent in the world cannot learn if not given opportunity to be nurtured, let alone mine. And opportunity is limited. At least for now. While, people say you will know when you are ready. You will be ready when you have to. It is unimaginable, the future. It is uncomforting to wake up every day and try your best to prepare to inhale all new things while hanging on to the things that running already through your system. Sometimes you think you might forget all the substansial idea if you keep being stuffed up, at times you can't concentrate to absorb new knowledge whilst keeping up with the old one.

It might be always that way, but it bothers me so much now that i care. Now i remember why i never try to do big things in the first place. You won't deal with failure if you never try. I just breezed through life until I realized I really want big things.

It has been a month but I have not yet to able find times to read for leisure or for just for the sake general update of information. Beside a very insignificant little amount supplementary work stuffs and headline news, i just can't seems to find the time. Maybe some precious things really need to be sacrificed.

Maybe i will be ready when i have to. But for now i am not. And the anxiety is taking joy from my precious sleep.

New old post

Okay, this time i want to beat on a shall be very dead topic. Hence the title. It shall be put to bed for a long time but it is not. So as a smug, i want to propose an alternative hip argument just for the sake of it. Every year, we always have arguments whether to say " Merry Christmas " is permitted or not. It is downright silly if you catch only glimpse of it. But the fact that we even have that debate, is actually a concerning situation.

For some I might be a kid who have little to none knowledge about Islamic How-To. I am learning though. So maybe we shall argue it in a non-textbook fiqh perspective. In a more sensical point of view. Because it is what i think the point of religion after all : practicallity. (Is it even a word)? 

So, the big question. Do saying seasonal greetings make us a non-believer? Make us believe in the statement we say?